The Rainbows Grief and Loss Program is a structured, peer-support curriculum designed to help children and teens cope with grief from a death, divorce, or other significant family loss. It uses age-specific, small-group sessions led by trained facilitators to help participants express emotions, build coping skills, and feel less isolated.
Background and Origins
The program was founded in 1983 by Suzy Yehl Marta, a divorced mother and educator who noticed that her own children and their peers struggled to articulate their feelings about divorce. She developed a curriculum that combined storytelling, art, and discussion to give young people a safe vocabulary for loss. The name “Rainbows” was chosen to symbolize hope after a storm. Over the decades, the program expanded internationally and now operates in schools, community centers, and faith-based organizations across the United States and in several other countries. It is a nonprofit organization, and its materials are used by thousands of trained volunteers each year.
How the Program Works
Rainbows is not therapy; it is a support group that supplements professional counseling when needed. Sessions are typically held once a week for 8 to 10 weeks, and each session lasts about 45 minutes to an hour. Groups are divided by age and by the type of loss (e.g., death, divorce, or other). Trained facilitators, often teachers, school counselors, or community volunteers, guide the sessions using a structured workbook tailored to each age group.
- Age groups: The curriculum is divided into levels for early elementary (ages 5–8), upper elementary (ages 9–12), and teens (ages 13–18).
- Format: Groups are small, usually 4–8 participants, to encourage trust and sharing.
- Activities: Sessions include drawing, journaling, role-playing, and group discussions based on a theme like “anger” or “memories.”
- Parent involvement: Parents receive informational materials and are encouraged to attend an orientation, but they do not participate in the children’s sessions.
Key Components and Curriculum
The curriculum is built on the belief that children grieve in ways that differ from adults and that peer support is crucial. Each session has specific objectives, such as identifying feelings, understanding that grief is normal, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. The program also emphasizes that loss is a permanent change, and it helps children build a “memory book” or similar project to honor the person or relationship they lost. For divorce-specific groups, the focus is on helping children understand that the divorce is not their fault and that they are allowed to love both parents.
How to Choose a Program
If you are considering Rainbows for a child, start by checking if a local school or community center offers it. You can also visit the official Rainbows website to find a nearby site or to inquire about starting one. When choosing a program, consider the following:
- Facilitator training: Ask how facilitators are trained and whether they have background checks.
- Group composition: Ensure the group is age-appropriate and matches the type of loss your child experienced.
- Program length: Confirm the schedule and whether there is a follow-up or ongoing support option.
- Confidentiality: Understand what is shared with parents and what remains confidential within the group.
Common Challenges and Misconceptions
One common misconception is that Rainbows is a form of therapy or that it can “fix” a child’s grief. In reality, it is a support program that helps children feel less alone, but it does not replace professional mental health care. Another challenge is that some children may be reluctant to participate, especially if they feel stigmatized by the label of “grief group.” Facilitators are trained to address this by creating a welcoming, non-judgmental atmosphere. Additionally, because the program is often offered in schools, scheduling conflicts and parental consent can be hurdles. Some families also worry about religious content; while Rainbows originated in a Christian context, it is secular and open to all beliefs.
Costs and Availability
The cost to participate in Rainbows is typically minimal or free, as the program is often funded by the hosting organization (e.g., school budgets, church donations, or grants). However, there may be a small fee for materials or a suggested donation. The national Rainbows organization charges a licensing fee to institutions that want to run the program, but individual families usually do not pay directly. Availability varies widely; rural areas may have fewer sites, so you may need to travel or consider starting a group yourself, which requires completing a facilitator training course.
Safety and Effectiveness
Rainbows is widely used and has been endorsed by many school districts and counseling professionals, but it is not a substitute for therapy for children with severe grief reactions. The program’s safety relies on trained facilitators who follow a structured curriculum and recognize when a child needs professional help. There is limited independent research on the program’s long-term effectiveness, but anecdotal evidence from schools suggests that children often show improved emotional expression and reduced isolation. If a child exhibits prolonged depression, self-harm, or an inability to function, parents should seek a licensed mental health professional.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Rainbows only for children who have experienced a death?
No. Rainbows serves children dealing with any significant loss, including divorce, separation, or the incarceration of a parent. There are specific curricula for different types of loss, and groups are often separated by that type to ensure relevance.
Can a child attend Rainbows if they are already in therapy?
Yes, and in fact, many therapists recommend it as a complement to individual counseling. Rainbows provides peer support that therapy cannot, and it can help reinforce coping skills learned in therapy. However, it is important to inform the facilitator and the child’s therapist to ensure coordinated care.
How long does a child stay in the program?
The core program lasts 8–10 weeks, but many sites offer ongoing “alumni” groups or refresher sessions. A child may repeat the program after a significant new loss or at a different developmental stage, as the curriculum is age-specific.
What if my child refuses to attend?
It is common for children to resist at first. Facilitators are trained to make the first session low-pressure, and many children change their minds after seeing the group. If your child continues to refuse, consider talking to the facilitator about a one-on-one introduction or waiting a few months and trying again.
Are there programs for adults?
Rainbows primarily focuses on children and teens, but it also offers a separate program called “Sunshine” for younger children (ages 3–5) and “Spectrum” for adults who experienced loss as children. For adults currently grieving, the organization recommends other community resources.
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